In time with you
by YoCupcake
Summary: To change our future, we sometimes have to look at our past. Bonnie faced many challenges after leaving Kai in 1903 prison world. To save her own life, and the life of others - she must go back in time to stop Kai from committing the crime that will affect both their future lives.
1. Your past creates the future

**Disclaimer: Don't own this show, or it's characters.**

 **Note: Okay this will be a short story (I have too many fics to finish) . I have a few chapters for it, which I will be editing and putting up. It's just an idea I have always wanted to try out. Basically I love the thought of Bonnie meeting young version of Kai before prison world, and wanted to explore it.**

 **So review and let me know if you like it.**

* * *

 ** _Your past creates the future_**

* * *

 _Shit._ No wait, double shit. I could not emphasize 'shit' enough when it came to my life as Bonnie Bennett.

My life that had become all about fighting and sacrificing. It felt like it was too late now, as we had lost the war with the Heretics. The heretics were a strange mixture of vampires and witch hybrid.

We had let them out because I was stupid enough to fall for Damon's lies to get his mother out of her icy prison world of 1903.

We got her out, and she found a way to break out her dangerous friends. From then on the heretics started to kill members of every town, including my home of Mystic falls. I tried to stop them. My expression magic was enough to put some of them down, but not enough to take on the strength of powerful witches with vampire speed.

It was during this hard time my best friend Elena decided to tell me Damon had not told me about Kai saving me. He had saved me on my birthday, when I was stuck in the 1994 prison world. I of course was full of anger and guilt upon hearing this. Yes Kai had hurt me, and I thought I had every right to trap him in the other prison world Damon's mother had been in. Even when he apologized to me and tried to make amends, I would not have it. I got my revenge and stabbed him, before I left him for dead. I thought it would cure my PTSD i had suffered when i broke free if the prison dimension, but it didn't. Especially when I found out about how he had saved me. The crazy deranged selfish warlock saved me, and not my own friends, how fucked up is that?

I was so disappointed in them all. The whole time I thought I was mad solely at Kai, turned out I was really mad at them. Kai was just another enemy that I expected the worst from. My friends on the other hand - I expected everything from. I thought they would do everything in their power to bring me back, like I had done for them. It turns out as soon as I risked my life to get Damon back, he and my friends did not make much of an effort.

They had a birthday in my honor, when I was not even there! I get the gesture, but that did not sit right with me. How can you mourn someone who still has a possibility of being alive, and not doing anything about it. No, it was 'hey let's light a candle for poor Bon Bon, stuck in that awful prison world! Here is hoping she gets out!'. After that I had forgiven them, but became distant.

Although that did not last long when we now had to deal with Heretics on our asses. Lilly had found a way to get them out, finding some other witch to help her. Now Damon and Stefan had to lock her up in their home, while we tried to deal with the heretic problem. I honestly became fed up with it all. I had not even been back long, and already I had to put my life on the line to deal with more mess caused by my friends.

I was fed up of my friends. Fed up of all these fucking enemies I have to fight, and fed up of always feeling like the world was resting on my shoulders.

I threw the grimoire in my hand across the dusty basement room. I was in my Gram's basement, where she kept most of her important Grimoires. It was covered in dusty old trunks filled with Bennnett things, along with spider webs and enough dust to cause an asthma fit. I heard someone coming down the stairs and immediately turned to face the door as it creaked. I had my hand out ready to use magic, before a blonde head popped through the door.

It was just Caroline. I sighed in relief that it was not one of the heretics.

"Gosh Bonnie, it's dusty as hell in here. When was the last time anyone cleaned in it?" She complained. Coughing and wiping away some of the cobwebs covering the doorway.

"When my Grams was alive, so a good few years back." I know I sounded pissed off. It happened when I brought up my Grams, feeling how unfair it was she was gone from this world.

I looked up to see Caroline's face was not as cheery-looking as it usually was. She, like myself, had been through a lot. She had lost her mother, causing her to turn off her humanity for a while. Then she had turned it back on, and now was fighting by my side to beat our new enemies. It was starting to drain her like it was draining me. There was only so much emotion you could go through. Although I was not happy she had hurt people when she turned off her humanity. I never got the chance to turn off my emotions. I had to deal with everything life threw at me, and did not understand why my vampire friends could not. Just like Elena - it ended up with them hurting people to heal their pain.

"You look as bad as I feel." She walked up to where I stood, sitting herself down.

Coughing and wiping away more of the dust that had settled around us. I really did need to clean down here, but I could never stomach seeing my Gram's belongings. It made me miss her even more. I was constantly trying to stay strong, but inside I felt the raw emotion of losing someone close to me every day of my life since she died, and I lost her again in the afterlife.

"Find anything in there?" Caolrine asked, her warm smile was back. As she nodded towards the grimoire I had thrown on the ground.

"Nope. Not something that would help our situation. Did Stefan track them?" I picked up another grimoire while I waited for her reply.

She nodded, but looked worried. Her honey blonde hair covering her face as she bit down on her bottom lip. I knew Caroline well enough to know she was hiding something.

"What is it Caroline? I know that look, that means it's not good." I scanned her face for any answers.

She turned away to avoid my gaze before answering.

"They managed to get out of mystic falls Bonnie. Stefan said alot of people have recently been killed in Georgia, so he thinks they headed there. They're not even covering their tracks Bon! They could expose all of us vampires at this rate." She threw her hands up in frustration, before rubbing her forehead like she was on the verge of a headache.

I felt like I was on the verge of one too. This was not good at all. This was bigger than the enemies I faced in the past, as at least I managed to defeat most of them within mystic falls. Now not only had they killed and destroyed here, they were heading out to cause global catastrophe.

"Shit. I thought Stefan and Damon were supposed to be making sure they didn't get out?"

why were my friends always so incompetent?

"Stefan tried, but you know we can't stop them. We have tried, and some of us almost lost our limbs doing it. I mean I know i'm a vampire with the strength of wonder woman, but they have magical powers Bonnie! No way we can beat them when they have magic and vampire strength." She looked guilty.

Caroline was right, I needed to find another way to stop them. As if by magic, the grimoire page in front of me turned to another page. I would have said it was the wind, but I probably had some witch ancestors hanging about in the house. Even though I thought after-life world crashed, but turns out magic always has loop holes.

I looked down at the dusty page in front of me. A spell for time travel appeared with a quote highlighted at the top:

 _If you don't like the future, change what you didn't like in the past._

I must have been looking at the words for longer than necessary, as Caroline tried to peek at what I was staring at.

"What does it say? Care to share?" She sounded as curious as I felt right now.

Those words awakened something within me. I saw flashes in my mind of events that led up to the problem we were dealing with. Damon guilt tripping me to bring his crazy bitch mother back from another prison dimension, me reluctantly agreeing. Then Kai's eager face popped into my mind. I could smell the food from the diner we had been sat in. Feel the sweat of my palms when I sat across from him, the feeling of uneasiness in his presence. The smile I had to hide when he joked about wanting to go back in time. Then finally the words that would seal our fate, resulting in me leaving him to rot in the old prison dimension of 1903. The words that made me feel guilty thinking about how eager he was to make amends for what he had done.

 _"I will go, if you go."_

I could could not remember if they were the exact words. I had been replaying them over in my head since I had stabbed him and left him to rot. Sometimes I dreamed of our conversation going differently. That I had taken mercy on him, and warned him to back off and not go.

Yet that was not what happened, no taking it back now.

"Wow, time travel? Don't you feel suddenly feel like we're in a sci fi flick?" Caroline teased.

Her voice woke me up from my day-dream. I looked back down at the words, suddenly taking in and understanding their meaning. I needed to un-do what I had done. But steps had to be taken. I had seen enough time travel movies to know it's not something you can play around with. Hell, I had not even known it was magically possible till the grimoire basically opened up the possibility in front of me.

"We can do it Caroline. This spell allows me to time travel." I showed her the grimoire page.

As expected, she thought the idea was crazy.

"Look Bonnie, I have seen some crazy things these last few years. Especially when it comes to that magic mojo of yours, but time travel? This isn't Dr Who Bonnie! How could it possibly work?"

I really did not have the patience or energy to convince her, so she would just have to trust me. I was the one who had gotten my friends out of every fix they got themselves into. I wish they would have a bit more faith in me and my magic.

"Does it matter? We have to try. We have no time to mess around. They're going to slaughter people and come back to kill us if we don't. I'm not powerful enough to take on a whole bunch of witch-vampire hybrids with their power and speed. I don't want to die again Caroline, so we need to try this."

She looked down at the ground in sadness at my mention of 'dying again'. I knew she felt guilty for all those time she could not save me. I didn't blame her, I had put myself in those situations. I looked down and started thinking of ways this could work. I did not fancy dying again, so this plan would be worth a try.

"Bonnie?" Caroline's sad voice filled the silence around us.

"Yeah?" I felt bad I had got distracted and not even noticed her guilty look.

"I don't want you to die again either. I can't believe I was so selfish in the past. I didn't really ever do enough to help you, and I want to make it up to you. So we can do this thing together. Time travel like we're in some geek comic book fantasy. Just as long as it's not Victorian times please, I don't like the idea of a corset." She grinned.

I smiled back, and we both laughed at how silly the notion of time travel was. It was nice to diffuse the sadness that had wafted over both of us like a bad smell. The situation we were in just emphasized how we had never truly had a break since vampires entered our lives. It had become a constant struggle against powerful enemies turning up. I was hoping once this was done, I could take a long vacation in the state of California. Or anywhere that wasn't mystic falls. I knew Caroline and Elena would like that.

"Let's get started then. I just need to figure out which event we need to travel back to change." I looked down at the grimoire, willing it to come up with solution.

"How about before we got Lilly out? I mean she was the one who freed them, thanks to Damon neglecting to tell us how serious she was about her _little friends_ ". Caroline was almost growling in anger at the mention of Damon.

I could not blame her, I felt the same way. I wish I had not been so quick to trust him and let Lilly out. I let out a monster than had killed over three thousand people, probably more than that. Yet I had felt so justified trapping Kai. Kai who was technically a reformed killer, and lesser of the two evils. It had taken me a short while after to realize some of my anger at him had been misplaced. Of course he deserved to be stabbed for what he did to me, but I had killed him previously with an axe. I would have been trapped in the prison world regardless, even if he had stayed. It was actually a good thing I didn't get stuck with the crazy bastard, but of course my anger just grew in my time there.

Whatever the case, I should not have left him there after he helped me out. I should have found a way to magically punish him without leaving him there to rot. It wasn't just about him, stupid Damon had neglected to tell me that I would have been responsible for killing his coven. His whole coven could have died because of that link, and it would have been my fault.

I thought of what Caroline said, but then knew it would not work going back to that event. I didn't know too much about time travel, but I remembered that you can't change or meet yourself back in time - as it would change the whole future. There was no way I could go back to that event without my old self being there, and my old self would have still done the same thing regardless. I could not get through to my past self without ruining everything.

The book page said that by changing the right past event, we could change our future we were in now. We would be in the future we set up through the past. We just had to make sure to avoid meeting ourselves when we went back to change it.

"Won't work Caroline. I think time travel rules state we can't meet our past selves, without messing up our whole future. We need to be careful."

She nodded in agreement, as we both went silent trying to come up with ideas. She suggested going back to change Lilly into a better person, which was not a bad idea. If Lilly was not who she was later, then she would never have killed those people and be in the prison world in the first place. Still, it went back too far in time. It was too much to change. I also did not know how it would affect Stefan and Damon.

"We can't Caroline. I don't know how it will affect them, and it's not fair to change someone's whole life without their consent. I don't really want to tell them about this. They will probably think we're crazy and that it will never work." I sighed.

I did not want to waste time convincing them. We did not have time, as the hybrids grew stronger with all the blood they were taking from dead victims they were killing.

"We could just do it Bonnie. They would have to understand, it's our lives at stake here!" She had a point.

"But what about Stefan? You love him and he's with you, this could mess up your whole future together. We don't know how much their mother changing would affect him, do you want to risk changing Stefan's whole life?"

She did her 'guilty look' she had perfected since she was younger. Looking down at the ground, looking like a lost puppy. Placing some of her honey blonde hair behind her ear, she looked back at me and nodded in agreement

"You're right. I don't know what I would do without Stefan in my life, after everything. But if we can't change any of them, and can't meet ourselves, what past can we change?"

She had a point. I looked down at the spell. It did not really give much away in terms of instructions. Just the spell words in general, and a little note about making sure not to meet your past self. I directed the question in my mind at the book. Praying that some of my dead ancestors might hear me, or the book itself helped me with the answer I sought.

All of a sudden I felt a cold breeze wrap itself around me. Nothing happened with the book this time, but Kai's face popped up in my mind. I could hear his words loud and clear in my mind. Like he was there speaking to me.

 _Haven't you ever thought of time travel?_

 _Come on! It could be fun._

I felt I was going crazy reminiscing about his voice, that had despite me not wanting to admit it - made me a little giddy inside at the time. His voice was a mixture of sweetness and sultry mixed into one. Now it was haunting me, making it clear what I needed to do.

"Kai," I whispered.

Caroline wouldn't have heard me had not it not been for her superior vampire hearing.

"What? Kai? What does he have to do with anything?" She fired questions at me.

I was not sure how to explain it to her, other than Kai was the key to changing all of this mess.

"Don't you see Caroline? If Kai had not been desperate to use me to get out of 1994, or stabbed me, we could have avoided all this. I never would have left him behind to let Lilly out. It would have been different when I got trapped in the prison world. Everything would have changed."

I was still working it all out in my head, but was glad when Caroline nodded, taking in what I was suggesting.

"So if we go back and change Kai before he became a deranged child-killer, we can change the future? No heretics?" She asked.

I nodded. It was making more sense now. If we changed the event that made Kai who he was, the circumstances that caused the heretics to get out would be changed. It was strange how Kai factored into a lot of what was now my doomed fate. If we had met in the prison world and he was not- well Kai I had known, then things would have been different. Even if he had not killed his family, I was sure his father was sending him to the prison world. Kai may have lied about a lot, but he didn't lie about what an evil bastard his father was. His Dad was just better at hiding it, but I knew he had a big part in why his kids ended up with trauma scars. Kai especially, was damaged by him. Plus I knew Grams helped build the prison world, way before Kai said his coven had sent him there. So there was no doubt regardless of the event, that he would have been sent there eventually.

Also I needed them to send him there, as it was Gram's plan to save me. The world was built for Kai, and it just so happened to save me when the other side crashed. I might not be able to change Kai getting put there, but hopefully I could stop him going crazy and killing his siblings. If I met him and hopefully convinced him, we might actually be friends in a future where I get sent to his prison world and need help.

"It's our best chance Caroline. I mean Kai isn't really tied to us personally, so changing his past is easier than changing the Salvatore's. Plus it means we won't run into ourselves. I wasn't even out of diapers when he was younger, so no chance of getting caught. Plus Portland far from mystic falls, which means no chance of running into anyone we know."

She grinned, loving the idea. We both finally had a sense of hope in this situation we were facing.

"Great idea Bon! All you got to do is convince him to not go all crazy sociopath killer on us, and it means none of this horrible future stuff would happen. He won't hurt you in future, which means no you getting angry and making the rash decision to leave him there to get Lilly out. Bingo, no horrible hybrid heretics!" She did a little happy dance on spot.

Her enthusiasm for the plan was catching, and I felt myself smile in triumph.

"Okay then, let's do it." I smiled.

We high-fived each other, before I held her hand and started to whisper the latin words. Causing the spell to take us over. I felt myself drift off into what felt like a peaceful sleep. Like water was pulling me down and drowning out all sound.

Everything went black, and I felt the ground beneath us move.

We drifted off into what felt like space and time. Where everything was calm, not knowing where we would end up.


	2. Past dilemmas

_**Past dilemmas**_

* * *

I woke up with tired eyes. My mouth felt parched, and throat felt like sandpaper when I swallowed. My head felt like someone had just bashed it with a baseball bat. Dizziness overcame me for a few minutes, till I managed to compose myself.

I sat up and looked for Caroline immediately, worried she had ended up in a different time. I really should have prepared more. Anything could have happened to us during the spell. We could have been separated and sent to wrong places, or disappear for good.

I was happy when I heard her groan. I looked over to find her in the far corner of the dusty old room we were in. She threw off a bunch of old wooden boxes that were on top of her, coughing as a tornado of dust covered us both.

"What the hell, this doesn't look like the nineties," she coughed out.

I looked around, she was very right. It did not look like the nineties at all. It looked like an old store room of an antique shop, with very old furniture and bits covering the room. Felt more like something out of 1920's, than our destination - before 1994. That was before Kai would have killed his siblings, giving us the opportunity to stop him and change the events.

This was definitely not the nineties from the looks of it. It had an old feel to it, and I could feel this was the wrong time we were in. Even more so with the old jazz piano music we heard blasting from outside the room. There were loud sounds of people clapping and talking, while the music continued to play loudly.

We looked at each other, wondering if someone was having some kind of fancy party. Maybe that was what this was?

"I will go check it out." Caroline vampire-rushed over to the door.

I was glad she did. I had to be careful, considering even with powers I was not immortal like Caroline. If I died here, I died for good. While I was indulged in my worry, I did not notice Caroline's concerned face before she gasped.

"What the hell kind of party is this!?" She gasped in surprise.

Wondering what she was talking about, I headed to where she stood. My own gasp came out when I looked out of the slightly open door. We had it partly closed to make sure no one could see us, but we could see everything. It was a big ballroom, filled with people in old style flannel costumes and clothes of the - I would say 1920's era. I looked at Caroline, hoping with her fashion experience she could confirm this.

"Okay, with my fashion studies experience, I can definitely say that is 1920's style clothing. Clearly nothing from the nineties." She looked puzzled.

I felt equally perplexed.

"Maybe it's a fancy costume party? I mean we have them in mystic falls all the time," I suggested.

"But Bonnie, I don't think this is mystic falls," she whispered.

She pointed to a sign above the heads of a couple and a waiter serving them drinks. There was a big sign saying:

 _Annual Chicago party: 1922_

That surprised me. What the hell as going on? How were we in Chicago? In 1922 of all time periods!

"Oh my gosh Bonnie!" Caroline was almost screeching in whispers, pulling my arm.

"What?" I was still too dazed to pay attention to her concerns.

"That looks like Stefan! Over there!" She pointed a shaky finger in the direction of the bar.

There sat a man that resembled Stefan. If it wasn't, he could be his twin. He was in a old fashion penguin tux, talking to a blonde man at the bar. Even though it was Stefan, his was different. He had this sinister look to him. His smile, the one he was giving the man, was mischievous and the glint in his eye seemed evil. This was definitely not the Stefan I knew. Oh wow, it hit me, this had to be ripper Stefan. Of course! I had forgotten all about his diaries, telling us of his time in Chicago around this time period. Damon had felt the need to be a jerk in the prison world, reading Stefan's diaries to me as a bedtime story. Even when I refused, saying he should respect his brother's privacy. Of course it was hard for Damon to ever really respect anyone when he felt like being selfish. Which was most of the time.

I wondered how the hell we ended up in Stefan's time period in history. I remembered I had some of his journals in my basement, that were there when we did the spell. That must have been it! I forgot he had given them to me for safe keeping, as the heretics tried to burn down the Salvatore house in vengeance against our interference. It must have confused the spell when I had repeated in my mind the time period I wanted to go to. Or maybe because Caroline was with me, and she was worried about Stefan - that triggered the spell along with his diaries that carried his emotional memories.

"That _is_ Stefan," I was surprised at how calm I sounded.

Caroline's doe-eyes became even bigger as she looked at me. Her face forming a _'you have to be kidding?_ ' expression, before turning back to look at older-version of Stefan.

"I can't believe it's him, he seems so different. Hot in those clothes though." She grinned, checking him out.

I hit her arm playfully.

"Caroline this is serious! Focus please." Although I was also intrigued by this version of Stefan.

It was strange seeing how he used to be. Caroline began hitting my arm again, and I looked at her in question.

"That blonde guy in a white suit looks familiar too, doesn't he?" she asked.

I looked at the guy sat next to Stefan. He did look very familiar, but we could not see him properly as Stefan's body was in the way. That was until Stefan leaned over the bar laughing, grabbing another drink. The blonde guy was suddenly in our view, causing Caroline and I to gasp in shock.

"Holy shit! It's Klaus!" Caroline whispered more loudly.

Klaus and Stefan both looked up like they heard someone call their name. Shit, I forgot they obviously had super vampire hearing. They faced our direction, causing Caroline and I to jump in fear. She quickly slammed the door shut, standing in front of it to keep it closed.

I tried to catch my breath, as I looked for the grimoire. Thank goodness we had brought it with us to this time period. I grabbed it and began to whisper the spell, when there was loud knocking and voices outside the door.

"You sure they're in there, buddy?" Klaus's smug voice spoke over the loud piano music.

"Yeah, _i'm positive_. Two lovely looking ladies were peeking at us, and are in this room." That was Stefan. Well, ripper Stefan.

He knocked the door, causing Caroline to jump. She looked like a nervous animal ready to run away. I didn't blame her, the situation we were in was critical. They could not see us, or it would mess up our whole future.

"Caroline, they can't come in here!" I whispered in fear.

She nodded, keeping her back against the door. Her vampire strength keeping it locked as we heard them try to push it open.

"What the hell have they put against this bloody door? My strength should have opened it by now." Klaus sounded pissed off, just like his future self.

I heard Stefan laugh.

"Oh come on _king_ , use some of that charm of yours to get us in there. Look, allow me." Stefan was now the one knocking at the door.

"Hello in there, we just want to introduce ourselves to you lovely ladies. Do you mind opening the door?" he used his most persuasive tone.

"No, go away!" Caroline shouted back.

I tried to concentrate on the long spell in front of me, getting the words right as I began to whisper them. Praying we could get out of here fast before they caught us.

"Come on _love_ , we don't _bite_. Much." Klaus and Stefan laughed at their little joke.

"Yeah right," Caroline mumbled back.

"I like this one! She sure has some fire, I bet she is foxy. I'm informing you that she is mine Stefan. You may have the other one though." Klaus discussed us like he was talking about horses to buy.

Caroline was now seething, but she remained calm as she guarded the door.

"That's if we can convince them to _let us in,_ first, _tough guy;_ then you can have her." That was Stefan, and he was now pushing at the door again.

Caroline looked nervous as she tried to push it back in place. I was losing concentration as I looked at her, seeing her almost sweat with nerves. She looked panicked. I knew she would not be able to hold off two strong vampires wanting to get into the room.

"Bonnie, _hurry up_!" she whispered in panic.

I went back to whispering the words, as I heard Stefan and Klaus argue outside over how they should just break down the door.

"Okay then _love_. I guess we will huff, and puff, and blow this little door down," Klaus declared.

Stefan laughed, and they both started to push hard at the door. It almost knocked Caroline over, but she stood firm against it. I was so proud of her strength, as I watched her struggle.

I rushed through the spell-words, trying to hurry it up as much as possible. The banging on the door grew louder till Caroline was shoving it back in place just to keep them from getting in.

The spell had finished. The room was filling up with bright light. Stefan and Klaus had managed to burst in, but they were blinded by the brightness. I looked at Caroline, both of us staring in fear before we disappeared into what felt like blissful energy.

* * *

We had both woken up faced down in dirt. Caroline yelled out loud as she wiped the dirt from her pretty summer dress, cursing at the mud stains it left. I got up and looked around, feeling more dizzy than before. The spell certainly took a lot out of me. Who knew time traveling could be so exhausting.

Looking around, it seemed we were in a forest - covered by many trees and no sign of any houses. After inspection, I recognized the forest instantly. It was the one I had followed Kai into, back in 1994. When he was showing Damon and I where the eclipse would take place.

I remember glaring at him in suspicion, when he had left and returned with his stuff to take with us. The feel of his fingers when he had taken by magic, after I called his bluff about not knowing the spell. I felt the ghost of his fingers on my arm. Remembering the pain and sensation of having my magic sucked out of me. The look in his eyes when he did it, like he enjoyed me challenging him. The look of pleasure he had when he stopped, like he was coming back from a high. Trying to remember how to breath, as felt my adrenaline had been spiked. Looking into those questioning eyes of his, before I had ended his life for the first time.

Caroline luckily snapped me out of those memories

"Bonnie are you okay? The spell didn't hurt you, right?" She sounded concerned.

I smile and shook my head, looking around us.

"No don't worry, I'm fine. This _is it_ Caroline. We made it." I gestured to the forest around us.

"Wait, we are in mystic falls! I remember this forest. We're in the nineties?" She asked, looking around her in surprise.

I honestly didn't know how I knew we were in the nineties, considering we were in mystic falls. The spell could have just taken us back to our current time period. Yet I knew from my witchy intuition this was it. I used my magical senses to gain a feel of the time period, and it felt only slightly earlier than 1993 flashed in my mind, which meant we were a good year earlier than the previous trip I had made to that time period. I would never forget what that year felt like. Being stuck in that repeating day prison world - had scarred me for life.

I let Caroline know what time period it was. She was happy that we at least were away from Stefan's past, which I was thankful for too. Still, I felt so nervous being back in the nineties around the time Kai was around. My heart was beating faster than usual, as I remembered being stuck here before in the same forest. All those painful memories I wanted to erase of my time spent in 1994 prison world. The feeling of claustrophobia taking over, like I was confined in a small space instead of big forest. It made me feel like the mental walls I had built to block the painful memories of seclusion, all came rushing back.

I was back in the time period from hell again. I just hoped this time I could escape.


	3. Memories of you

**Note:** There won't be too many chapters left for this story. Review and let me know what you think :).

* * *

 **Memories of you  
**

* * *

Since our destination was Portland, we had to leave mystic falls. I was honestly delighted at the thought of leaving my constant drama-filled little town. I really needed a break from it, after everything. On the other hand we were off to a worse destination - Portland.

Home of Kai Parker and _tons of other cool people._ His voice filled my head again. I remember him telling me this, while touching my hands as he cut me free. Telling me about his town and how I had ruined his plans of leaving. He had invited me for thanks giving dinner, then it had all started from there.

The reason why I was finding him, had started from our little thanks giving dinner. I often wonder what would have happened if I had shown interest in leaving with him. I thought he had stabbed me because it was always his plan, but I remember the sad look in his eyes when I said I would never trust him or like him. The whole time it was like he was testing me. Trying to see if I would warm up to him. Why else would the crazy bastard make effort trying to impress me? I mean he could have honestly been doing it all for himself. He was a sociopath after all, but he could have saved himself the trouble and took my blood earlier. I should have noticed the warning signs when I had upset him, telling him I would never enjoy his company. He looked like I had rejected him completely, which I did. I should have guessed that meant he would not honor our deal. I had underestimated the sneaky asshole. If only I had been more aware, or things had been different.

Caroline nudged my arm, once again waking me up from my constant worrying thoughts.

"You okay?" she looked at me in concern.

We were now currently on a plane heading to Portland. We had both forgotten money, so Caroline had to compel a rich guy to get us tickets. I hated it when my friends used compulsion. It was completely against someone's free-will, but we had no choice. The future of many lives rested on our shoulders right now. We had to make sure we completed the mission, otherwise everything would be over.

I just couldn't concentrate. The whole time poor Caroline was trying to talk to me about our plan, I kept zoning out. All I could think about was Kai. His haunting voice, his boyish look, his false charm and dangerous aura. It felt like I had imagined him all this time. It felt so surreal that I was on a plane heading to his home to see him.

"Bonnie, are you listening?" Caroline's peeved voice woke me up from my thoughts.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." That was an understatement. I was frantically worrying about everything at this point.

" _Okay_. Well what do you think of the plan? I make Jo believe i'm some friend from back in the day, which gives us an invite into their home. Then you can get to work on Kai and convince him to not turn into a crazy asshole and kill his siblings. Simple, right?" she seemed enthusiastic.

I groaned in agitation. The whole thing was anything but simple. I did not want to be near Kai, let alone do some _work on him_. I remembered there was the issue of his father too. We would have to do something about _him_ , as he would ruin our plans.

"That's good Caroline, but we need to make sure their evil Daddy is not home. He will know what we are, and ruin everything before we even get through their door." I sighed just thinking of papa Parker. The guy was as deranged as Kai had been, but masked it better.

"Oh yeah, you're right. Hopefully we won't have to worry about him. We just need to get Kai, right?"

I chewed on my bottom lip in deep thought. If only getting Kai on board, was that simple.

* * *

Even though it was longer, it felt like minutes before we were outside the Gemini home.

I felt my heart beat faster as I looked at it, remembering my last trip there. That was a memory I would rather forget. Being stabbed after thanks giving dinner was not how I wanted to remember my trip here. I could never look at spaghetti, or even turkey again thanks to that bastard.

"You okay there Bonnie? It looks like you want to high-tail it out of here." Caroline was observing me.

I shook my head to try and clear it. It was no use, I felt like my world was closing in around me. Seeing the big old Gemini house before me, brought home the fact my trip to 1994 was real. For a short while I had thought of it as an induced nightmare, but now the evidence was clear.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Really? Is that why your heart is beating like a loud drum? I can hear it Bonnie." She had her arms crossed, watching me with interest.

I forgot about the annoying vampire hearing.

"Okay, maybe i'm scared. It was horrible Caroline. I feel sick just being here." I looked down at my feet, holding my now-aching stomach.

She sighed, giving me a sympathetic look.

"I know Bonnie. Sorry, I guess I forgot how hard this must be for you." She wrapped an arm around me in comfort.

I leaned into her for support, trying to stop myself from wanting to puke all over her pretty summer dress. I felt completely nauseated. I honestly underestimated my feelings, that were still not resolved from my time spent in the prison world.

"I know you're stronger than this Bonnie. _I know_ you can do this, you're the strongest person I know," she assured me.

I tried to find that Bennett strength I possessed somewhere deep inside of myself. I took in a few deep breaths, before gently taking her arm off me and nodding.

"Let's do it." I smiled.

She smiled back, and was going to go knock on the door before I stopped her. I wondered why the house was visible to us now, when Gemini had a spell to keep it hidden. I guess they had taken it off for some reason.

"Wait, we need to cover our tracks. They can't know that you're a vampire and i'm a Bennett witch, or it's over for us."

She stopped, looking worried.

"Oh _yeah_. Damn, they could have fried my vampire-ass Bonnie. Thanks for stopping me there." She laughed.

I laughed too, thankful her joke made me feel slightly better.

"As if I would let that happen. Now, I will do a spell to try and shield you from their prying. You will have to play along though Care, so no using your vampire powers."

She looked hesitant at the thought of not using them, but nodded in agreement.

"What about you?" she asked.

That was a good question. I would have to put my magic away again. Where was Miss cuddles when I needed her? It would have to be something else.

"I will have to put away my magic, hide it somewhere. That bastard is a magic-sucker, he might try and take my power. I can't risk that," I informed her.

Of course being defenseless around Kai was even more unappealing. I felt so torn. On one had I wanted magic to fight him just in case, but I also had to make sure he wouldn't try and steal it and probably use it to torture his siblings.

"Hmm, I wonder what you can hide it in? Oh wait, you can hide it in like any object, right? I got this cute necklace on sale i'm wearing, can you use that?" she took off the cute silver heart pendent and chain she wore.

I took it from her, observing it. Thank goodness she got it on sale. It was cute, and I would hate to lose something expensive or sentimental.

"That will do," I assured her.

She smiled in glee, probably happy that she could help me with a magic-related problem for once. I began to spell to send the magic into the necklace, holding it inbetween my palms. The skin of my hands began to burn with white-hot heat, causing me to almost drop it. I held on continuing the latin words - till I felt the magic inside of me was no longer there. I looked down at the necklace, touching it to feel my magic pulsate around it like an electrical charge. The spell had worked.

"Okay, it's done." I showed her the necklace.

She clapped her hands in happiness. She Looked around us for a moment, before turning back to me.

"Are you taking it with us?" she asked.

I had to think about that for a second. I had planned to take it in my jean pocket, but then Kai might be able to sense it. I could not risk him getting my power.

"I can't take it. They're strong witches, and would probably be able to sense I have magic on me. I will need to hide it."

A flashback of Kai pulling Jo's knife from the tree appeared in my mind. I shivered when I remembered the feel of the blade he had shoved inside my gut. He seemed to like that spot, judging from where he had stabbed his twin sister. Although, at least I had not lost my spleen like she had. I could not believe I was considering putting the necklace in the same spot Jo had hidden the knife, but I had an urge too. It's strange. Felt almost poetic, hiding it in the same place Jo had hidden her magic from him.

I walked to the same spot, where the left over bit of the cut tree stood. Shoving the necklace inside of the Autumn leafs that covered inside.

"I will leave it there." I felt like I was assuring myself more than Caroline.

She nodded but said nothing further. As we walked along the field that surrounded their house. We reached the door, and I almost felt sick seeing the garden play-toys scattered around. It brought it home the first time I had been there. I remember thinking how it felt haunted, with all the kids toys around. Remembering there must have been once kids there having fun, filling the place with laughter - instead of the silence I had endured.

It gave me the strength to walk slowly up the steps towards the door. The thought of saving those poor kids from the fate that awaited them. That if I succeed my mission, they would be safe. I could not believe I had not even considered it. I was just thinking about my group of friends, as usual, that I forgot there were other important lives out there. Like the lives of the poor children Kai had killed. I could save them, and countless others who the heretics were probably now feasting on.

Since I had never really gotten to save the people from my friends when they went through no-emotion stage, it felt like I was making up for it.

Now the knife was safely tucked away, I looked at Caroline. I ran back down the steps remembering we had another spell to do, as I called her over to a secluded spot away from the house. She nodded and came towards me. Luckily I had taken the time to study all the grimoires and learn spells for every occasion I could think of. Like in this case - cloaking a vampire from a witch's senses. I was going to glamour her to appear more human too. Both spells took a little longer than I expected, but when we were done I felt it was worth it. Caroline had a feel of a human, even with my own knowing that she was a vamp.

"I don't feel any different." She twirled around, inspecting herself.

"The changes are unseen. It worked though, they should not be able to tell you're a vampire." I really hoped that was the case.

She nodded and pointed towards their door. Urging me to take the lead, to go and knock on the door of the house I wanted to avoid most. To gain confidence I looked at the kids toys around me, remembering I was saving lives here. It gave me the strength to knock on their old wooden door, holding my breath as I heard someones footsteps from inside.

Then Kai Parker was standing there before me, causing my world to fall.

He looked like his younger prison world self. Unshaven, young-boyish handsome looks. Same spiked dark brown hair, and dark blue eyes peering into my soul. I felt my breath hitch, while my chest felt like someone was sitting on it.

I tried to control my breathing, as he looked at me with his eyebrows raised in confusion. He was dressed in a dark blue top that matched his eyes, and baggy jeans of the typical nineties fashion. Everyone about him screamed nineties. It brought 1994 back into my mind, causing my stomach to drop and my mind go haywire.

"Uhh, you're not a pizza guy," he said in confusion.

I could not even register his words, as I stared at him with my mouth open. I know I must have looked crazy, but there was no way to hide my reaction. Just like a typical predator assessing his prey - he continued to stare back at me, not dropping his eyes. We both must have stood like that for a while, before Caroline decided to break the awkward silence.

"Hi, i'm Caroline, and this is Bonnie." She nudged me.

Of course I was still staring, not even paying attention to her. He looked at me in confusion, before turning to face her.

" _Hello_ there, i'm Kai. I was expecting a pizza delivery, not two lovely ladies. Not that I mind or anything." He smiled at me.

Then he checked me out like most guys would, and it was not in a creepy-murderer way. His eyes roamed over my body, taking in everything. Stopping at my face as he continued to look into my eyes. I did not even care that he was checking me out like some fancy car. I could not stop the adrenaline and fear that flowed through me as I looked at him. The confidence I had when I had stabbed him in 1903 was gone, leaving the original fear of him in place.

I really need to get a ahold of myself. So lost in my own thoughts, i had not noticed Caroline start up a conversation with him. He was talking to her, but his eyes never left me. He continued to look only at me as he spoke to her. Like he was as interested in me, as I was in him.

"So you're both old friends of Jo huh? No offense to my sissy, but I didn't think she had many of those." He laughed.

It sent shivers down my spine. I had never heard him laugh before, but it already felt sinister. Even though it seemed in good nature. Logically I knew he wasn't a killer yet. The Kai standing before me was technically innocent, but my brain would not register it. My body still felt the imprint of the knife wound, with the left over scar I still carried.

"Well she met us! We came all the way to see her, right Bon?" she sounded desperate now, as she tried to nudge me awake.

I continued to stare at him like an idiot. Seeing his smug smile was giving me other emotions, other than fear - which was the biggest. Anger. Anger at the the fact I remember all the pent up rage I had when I had stabbed him before, as it came rushing back into me.

"Is your friend okay? She looks a little shell-shocked," he sounded concerned.

He had his hands in his pickets, observing me in curiosity. _Well of course i'm shocked, asshole. I'm standing here in front of you, the guy that stabbed and tortured me._ I thought bitterly _._

 _"_ Oh don't mind her, we had a bit of an accident on the way here. Some asshole ran into our car, and now we're stuck. Is rude-driving like a thing in Portland?" Caroline tried desperately to salvage the situation.

"Yeah, it happens. Hey you can-" he was cut off.

"Hey Kai, who is at the door?" asked a voice I did not recognize.

A younger looking Jo came into view. She still had the same bright blue baby eyes, but she was a lot younger - and looked a lot like Kai. Same dark hair and perfect bone structure. Their father at least had left them with one gift, the gift of good genes.

"Hey sissy, it's your gal pals. Bonnie and Carol," he sounded amused. He gestured to us, grinning like clown.

"It's Caroline, and hey Jo! Long time no see." Caroline hugged Jo close like they were long lost friends.

She really should have continued to study drama, the girl was a natural. Jo, bless her, looked confused; as she returned the hug out of politeness.

"So, this is your place? Wow it's bigger than I thought! Why don't you give Bonnie and me a little tour of the place," Caroline insisted.

Jo looked unsure, as she glanced at Kai. Kai nodded in approval, and I guess it was good enough for her as she smiled at us.

"Sure, please come in." She opened the door fully.

That was what Caroline was waiting for, as she grabbed Jo's arm, running inside. I forgot as a vampire she needed an invite. Of course I was not happy she had left me alone with the devil himself. He was blocking the door, looking at me with what seemed like a silent question. He still refused to back out of our staring contest, and I would not dare look away.

Worried he might turn around and stab me.

"So _Bonnie_ ," he said my name like he was tasting it on his tongue.

It gave me some other nasty feelings to deal with. Ones I did not want to delve into, as it was mainly lust-filled thoughts I should not be having.

"Are you going to come in? Or stand there checking me out?" He asked, grinning in amusement.

I was happy the anger was slowly taking over the fear. It was easier to be angry at him, as he made it very easy. Especially with his annoying little jokes he liked to tell.

"You first." It was the first time I spoke to him. As I gestured for him to go in first.

No way was I going in front and giving my back away to a murderer. He could stab me and leave me out here, while Caroline and Jo chatted over lunch.

"Okay then," he agreed.

He looked at me with suspicion, before heading inside. I was finally able to let out a long breath I had been holding. My chest felt so tight I thought it would explode. I don't know how I was even going to be in the same room as him. Outside I at least had options for escape, but I would be trapped in there. Still, seeing young Jo and knowing he has siblings made me want to protect them. I would have to do the mission, convincing him to stop before he went on a murder spree.

I had to remember this was not after-merge Kai with feelings, or murderous Kai of the prison world. This was a different Kai.

At least I hoped he was.


	4. Learning to cope

**Note :** Okay so this is super late because I lost my way a bit with this story. I hope it satisfies any BonKai fans still out there, please **review** and let me know, helps motivate me to continue this. :) Sorry in advance for any typos **,** I have not had chance to re-edit as much as I would like.

 **JustStockton:** If you read this I just wanted to thank you so much for all your lovely reviews, and as a loyal reader for Bonkai fics. :) I just wanted to let you know I do read them, and you always leave great feedback that gets me thinking. I often forget certain plot points and you always remind me, so thank you so much! you rock.

* * *

 **Learning to cope**

* * *

This was a nightmare. _A literal nightmare_. How was I here? How was I sitting across the table from my nemesis Kai Parker?

We were sitting at the table having lunch like an episode of' friends'. The whole thing felt absurd, as I found myself constantly staring at Kai Parker. He raised his eyebrow a few times in confusion, but then even he became uncomfortable with my watchful gaze. I looked down at my half eaten fish pie, not able to stomach the rest. I was not even sure how I even managed to eat half of it. I guess it was due to Kai's cooking skills, which I hated him for. No one that evil should be able to cook so well, but it was just my luck that he had many talents.

Caroline was next to me talking incessantly since we had all sat down. Luckily Jo seemed to be buying everything she was selling - which was her fake 'long lost friend' act. Jo was fascinated by mystic falls and Caroline's memories as a cheerleader. Something about wanting to visit the hospitals in mf for her medic class she was taking in college, as she wanted to be a doctor. I obviously knew that, as I was fully acquainted with her future self. I had stopped paying attention to their conversation from the get-go, too interested in watching Kai, whom was eating his food like a shy boy.

 _Shy._ Not a word I would have ever associated with him. Then I remembered him in the snowy world of 1903, when we held hands as we did the spell.

 _His shy gaze was lay on me. His dark blue eyes searching my closed ones. I only noticed when I looked up upon hearing his lame 'you have nice palms' comment. I mean really? It was pathetic and sort of cute at the same time. I had so much rage within me towards him at that time, but that comment had managed to melt a little of the ice that had built around my heart._

 _He smiled shyly at me, and I could not help but feel that despite how he had fooled me in the past - it was genuine._

"Isn't that right Bonnie?" Caroline's loud voice woke me up from the memory.

"Huh?" I replied. Not even registering her question.

She sighed. Then gave me a look that clearly stated I needed to get my acting-game on. I felt bad, knowing she was doing all the work here. I just could not help being lost, as I looked over at Kai. He was staring at me in curiosity, and I wondered how I had looked at him during my little day-dream. His blue eyes were scanning me in typical Kai-fashion, but he gave a little shy smile that reminded me of the him in 1903.

"Cheerleading practice Bonnie. It was really grueling, _right_?" Caroline reliterated in annoyance.

Jo was fully focused on me a sense of excitement, wanting to know about my life as cheerleader. This all felt so surreal. How the hell was I sitting across from Kai Parker, in the very house he had murdered his siblings, talking to his twin sister about cheerleading? there was no logical answer.

"Yeah, it was it tough training," was all I could manage to say.

Kai smiled, looking intrigued, while Jo looked a little disappointed by my reply. Caroline was now glaring daggers at me. I knew I wasn't being a good team player, but this situation felt too crazy for me.

"Well I personally find it hot," Kai announced. Popping another piece of pie into his mouth, chewing with vigor. I forgot how much he loved food.

For a second I thought he was talking about the food, but realized he was talking about me. His flirtatious look was enough to confirm it. I felt heat reach my cheeks in that familiar feeling of embarassment. I had not felt like that around a boy in a while, well not since Jeremy. Which is silly because Kai had flirted with me like this before. Well before I found out he was bad news and he had stabbed me. Not knowing what to say in the moment, I concentrated on the half of my pie that was left. Caroline luckily took pity on me and decided she was better off making small talk. I sat there trying to work out what our plan was supposed to be.

"Well you and all the other high school boys. Oh Jo you would love them! I mean mystic falls has some real hotties." Caroline had turned to Jo with enthusiasm.

That was one thing Caroline had that I was always jealous of, that she could engage anyone into conversation. Or make anyone interested in any lame topic like our cheerleading days.

"I always wanted to be a cheerleader, but we got home schooled most of our life. Hanging around your Dad all the time is a real drag," Jo's voice was filled with annoyance and regret.

I could fully understand why it would suck. I knew of her father, and would not want any poor children to have to suffer under his control. I looked over at Kai who had grown agitated and silent. Just the mention of his father would do that. He was wearing the same look on his face as when he had told me about his father the first time. I instantly became worried, remembering how that resulted in me getting stabbed. I could feel sweat run down my spine and a cold chill reach my body as I stared at him, worried he would react at any moment.

Caroline continued to sway the conversation to a more cheerful topic, no doubt sensing the tense atmosphere.

"Wow that would suck. Hell my mother was a police officer, can you imagine being on lock-down all the time? Sneaking off to parties was a nightmare." Caroline turned to Jo and continued their conversation.

Kai who had now had enough of our small talk, stood up, grabbing his plate and knife. I immediately jumped out my seat when he picked up the knife. It was an instant reaction I could not help, as my body still remembered the stabbing. Caroline and Jo had stopped to look up at me in confusion, while Kai had also stopped to examine me with a puzzled expression.

We stood like that for a while. Him no doubt thinking I was a crazy person, and Caroline probably wanting to shake some sense into me so I could get it together. I calmed my breathing and tried to think of a way to explain why I was acting weirdly.

"I should help you clean up," I managed to mumble.

It took all the courage I had to reach out and take the knife from his hand. I was glad he let me take it, although he was staring at me like I had three heads. I grabbed my plate to try and make it look like I was really just trying to help out. My heartbeat felt so loud I would not be surprised if I had a heart attack on spot. The anxiety was not something I could control, especially when I was in another time period without magic to save myself in the moment of danger.

"No Bonnie you're our guest, let me get that," Jo had spoken softly next to me.

Her calming voice helped a little, and I let her take the knife and plate from me. As long as it was out of Kai's hands I was fine with it. I just did not want him to have his hands on any knives, especially when he had looked so much like his future self earlier. Full of hate and no doubt plotting revenge against his father.

I turned to see Caroline glaring at me. She stood up grabbing my hand before Kai could ask me something, no doubt about my behaviour.

"Can you excuse us a sec? I just need a little chat with my friend." Caroline didn't even wait for their answer.

She dragged me back outside of the house with her vampire strengh I had forgotten about. Her aura appeared so human you would forget she was a vampire, if not for her still having her vampire strengh and senses. I would have to remember that spell for future use.

" _What the hell,_ Bonnie? Can you at least pretend to get with the plan?" She sounded angry.

I could not blame her really, as I was really messing things up.

"I'm sorry Care. It's just being in the same room with them, Kai with a knife and a younger version of Jo, is not something I can get used to. It's creepy and I reacted badly I know, but I feel pretty damn vulnerable without my magic and don't fancy getting stabbed again. " I had spoken so fast that if it were not for her vampire hearing, she would have missed it.

She looked at me for a few minutes with her arms crossed and a stern motherly look. Caroline had started to get that look when had got with Stefan. Also when the roles had reversed and she had become the reasonable vampire among my friends. As she had learnt to control herself early, she was more in control of herself than the salvatore brothers. I guess it also had something to do with the fact I kept dying and disappearing, Elena was too busy being infatuated with Damon, and Stefan had vampire-control issues. So really Caroline had to take the place of level headed mother of the group. Until her mother had died and she had decided to switch off her humanity. Of course just like with Elena before her - she finally managed to get a hold of humanity again, but the damage had still been done.

It's strange how I felt both jealous and repulsed by the fact they could switch it off so easily. Like a light switch, just turn it off and all those human feelings were gone. I had only dabbled in dark magic once, and even i was not able to enjoy the high it had given me for long. I had to use the magic to save yet another life, more lives to be exact, so it was never for selfish reasons.

"You got that far away 'i'm in dreamland' look, _again_." She sighed

It woke me up from my thoughts. I was zoning out a lot more than usual, but that could be due to the magic it took to get us here.

"Sorry. It's just hard being here and doing this. I thought this would be an easy mission, you know? get in and get out, but it's not. We could mess things up Care. For Jo I mean, even for us. I mean I didn't even really research this spell properly. I mean what if I messed something up taking us back here? Even our run in with Stefan and Klaus? What if Kai decides to go ahead and kill his family anyway? What if we can't stop it?" I was firing questions at her like bullets.

"Bonnnie please chill! You're throwing too many questions at me here. We will figure it out, now come here," she sounded concerned as she pulled me in for a hug.

I took comfort in the fruity perfume she always wore. Her soft pale hair tickled my cheek, as I contemplated how nice it was not to be alone. Sure since we met vampire I had acted like a one woman army, but I really was just a lonely soldier hoping he makes it back alive. I was a powerful Bennett witch but I was not immortal like my friends. Something they tended to forget, that every moment in life was precious to me because i would one day die. I didn't want to spend my life fighting villains. Yet here I was, messing up time to try and solve yet _another_ problem.

"We should go in Bon, they're probably wondering what mental assylum we ran away from." She released me from the hug, which I already missed. I wanted to stay outside with her rather than go back into Kai's house.

"Okay. I know I have been acting weird, but I will try and focus on the mission. We need to get it done and go home," I put more confidence in my tone than i felt. My brave Bonnie-mode was now back in full force, which meant I was not prepared to do whatever it took

She looked unsure for a moment, before nodding her head in agreement. Holding my hand, giving it a comforting sqeeze, she lead us back up the porch stairs to Kai's house. She stopped before going in, making me raise my eyebrow in question.

"What is it?" I hoped she didn't hear anything creepy coming from the house.

I was happy when she let out a cheerful laugh of relief, making me feel at ease.

"Nothing to worry about Bon. It just feels weird, you know the whole threshhold thing. I keep thinking I will get thrown out." She gave me a sheepish grin.

I considered her words. It had not occured to me that the spell had also allowed her to bypass the vampire threshhold law. Another thing I had not checked before doing the spell, making me feel stupid. Also worried, considering I could have broken a good few witch laws by doing this. With powerful spells there is always some kind of price. I should have cosindered that messing with vampire laws might come back to bite


End file.
